Sorry, Gillian!


So, my sweet friend Gillian wrote me a nice message congratulating me on my recent engagement. Poor thing. She opened up a can of worms she didn’t know was there, and this is what she got.

Gillian wrote:
> Congratulations! Try not to have ten
> bridesmaids 🙂 Is your mom driving you nuts yet?

I responded:
HOLY CRAP YOU JUST DESCRIBED MY LIFE!!! I’ve got 2 bridesmaids (Robin-best friend since age 10, and Sara-Nate’s little sis, and basically mine since high school). And then I was thinking if I needed any more, I get up to 13 very quickly!! And my mom is driving me INSANE!!! I hadn’t talked to her in a week or so, and so I called. BAD IDEA!!! She started talking about how great she thought her bday/xmas gifts were (um, wrong. I hate them. It’s all wedding crap. That’s my job. I could’ve bought them and written them off my taxes. Thanks, Mom, for thinking of what I would really want for my entire year worth of gifts!) and how she thinks the 2 etiquette books will be most useful. Why? B/c she doesn’t want my aunts to be sitting in the pews and thinking “gee, that’s tacky.” Um, THAT’S MY ENTIRE LIFE!! I’m the weird hippie child who doesn’t fit in with the rest of the fam. I’m used to it. I’ve had nearly 30 years to adjust. I DON’T CARE. They’re very nice and I love them all, but their opinions and mine have so rarely coincided, that I’m used to it. OY! THEN she started in on how I MUST include my brother. I will, as an usher. I have 2 attendants (bestfriend and sister), Nate has 2 attendants (his best friend and his brother). We’re stopping there. An usher is in the photos and he will seat mom and grandmothers and such. Adam and I get along now, but we haven’t been close in nearly 20 years! Ever since he started school and realized I’m a weird hippie. I’m closer to Nate’s sister than I am to Adam. He’s great, but we just don’t have the kind of sibling relationship that mom likes to pretend we have. He’s not standing up there with us. It would be weird. And I would never expect him to insist that his bride include me as a bridesmaid in their wedding. It’s not something I will regret for the rest of my life like she thinks. Most things I’ve done so as not to regret them for the rest of my life (per my mom’s advice), I’ve regretted. The rest of them that I ignored, not so much regret here.

Sorry, I’m on “mom restriction” right now b/c she’s driving me nuts. This wedding is apparently a way for her to show off how I’m not the freak everyone thought I would turn out to be. Best part is, she’s not paying for anything. So, she has no say. No pay, no say. That’s my motto! And I don’t think it’s a good idea to let her pay for anything b/c I don’t think I’ll agree with her on whatever it is. But, I don’t have to worry about that. It’s just funny (more funny sad than funny haha) to see how the progression goes from, “Now this is just a suggestion and you can ignore it if you want. You know you can always ignore any of my suggestions,” to “I really think you should consider my suggestion,” to “You know, it’s something you will regret for the rest of your life.” And the tone goes from friendly to stern to I’m-your-mother-now-do-it.

I so hope Adam is learning when to ignore her advice. He’s currently working a job he hates in a field he doesn’t think he likes b/c mom “suggested” that he not open a Subway franchise like he wanted to or even get a great job at a small firm where he’d get to do more of the work he likes on smaller clients but instead get a job as a peon at Ernst and Young where he’s doing a job he views as useless making sure giant companies aren’t too many millions of dollars off in their books.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Perhaps I’ll go post it on my blog (and as you can see, I did). Other than my mom, being engaged is pretty cool. It’s not all that different b/c we’ve lived together for 2 years, but it is a little. We can talk about the rest of our lives (woo! crazy!) And we’ve even started combining things like our CD collection. I think Nate’s a little weirded out by that part. I keep telling him, “Just wait till I get to the DVDS!” Anyway, that’s been a joke w/ us forever, the DVD separation thing. It was Nate’s little way of keeping his freedom, and SOON IT WILL BE MINE! MWAHAHAHA!

To sum things up, you are right on the money. I’m trying my best to avoid having 10 bridesmaids, and mom is driving me nuts!!!

Thanks for the congrats. I think everything will work out fine. Thank goodness for caller ID!!

Claire

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~ by rebeccaclaire on January 6, 2006.

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